Phillip Senn wrote on 06/13/06 3:13 PM

IF YOUR background image is a picture of your cousin, you might be a rural programmer.

Ryan Guill wrote on 06/13/06 3:49 PM

... you've got high-speed internet, but no indoor plumbing.
... if you mow your yard and you find 5 old hard drives and a dot-matrix printer.
... if when you log on to windows, your computer starts playing sweet home alabama.
... if you have a holster on your herman-miller aeron chair

Scott Stroz wrote on 06/13/06 4:20 PM

Dude, my cousin is hot!!

Joe Rinehart wrote on 06/13/06 4:32 PM

Ryan, niiiiice!

Ryan Guill wrote on 06/13/06 4:47 PM

Sorry, Im originally from kentucky and now live in memphis, so I can identify I guess...

How about a few more...

... you have more usb thumb drives than you have teeth.
... you have a computer that costs more than your house.
... you have ever made a program that pings convenience stores to find the cheapest place to purchase chewing tobbacco.
... if you have ever typed <input type="submit" value="Get'er Done!" />

Damien wrote on 06/13/06 4:50 PM

... your server-down notifier goes by the name of Shep.
... when rebuilding your RAID-5 file server takes less time than mowing your lawn.
... when the training classes recommend ensuring your PC is not underwater before turning it on.

Matt Williams wrote on 06/13/06 6:02 PM

I too am from Kentucky, so must chime in

... your UML diagram has more branches than your family tree.
... your server rack and gun rack use the same key.
... you keep your bare feet warm with the fan of your CPU.
... you have more browsers than you have teeth.
... you have more monitors than you have shoes.
... your outhouse has wireless access.

Ed.T wrote on 06/14/06 9:47 AM

Welcome to the area Joe! Moving to Raleigh from Centreville, VA and being from West "by God" Virginia originally I feel qualified to judge all entries.

Matt is the winner! UML diagram/family tree, too funny.

Runner up to Scott for admiting he's checked out his cousin.

Egg wrote on 06/14/06 1:23 PM

Suddenly you have way too much free time!

Phillip Senn wrote on 06/14/06 1:40 PM

Hey, I'm from Kentucky and currently live in North Caroina!
What does that make me? Uberrural programmer?

IF YOU'VE been to the real Hazzard Kentucky hoping to catch of glimpse of the General Lee, you might be a rural programmer.

Damien wrote on 06/15/06 4:41 PM

OK, I'm not sure why it took me so long to get into gear on this, given that for half of my geeking life I've lived in the country.

... you've got the fanciest network in the county but can still can't hold a 28k8 dialup connection.
... the phone company refuse to work on your line citing some "money-pit" clause in your contract.
... your neighbors think "broadband" is a country 'n western group.
... you figure the only way to get broadband is to string up enough bean cans & string.
... the neighbors come over in the winter because they all know one side of your house is *always* warm.
... your neighbors buy new tractors / trucks for christmas, you upgrade your a laptop.
... you hot-wire onto your neighbor's satellite signal to boost your bandwidth while they're looking at the shiney new tractor/truck
... you get arrested for putting a wifi antena on a water tower.
... the cops let you off if you promise to share the bandwidth.
... you can process data faster than the NSA but you still hear click-click-click-click on your landline phone.
... your dialup signal worsens every time billybob gets up on his roof - you don't know why, it just does.
... both UPS and FedEx refuse to deliver to your location, and USPS only do it because in 1904 Old Jebediah put forward a sparkling debate on why every address in the USA must be serviced by them.
... your packages arrive with large dents.
... packages that arrive that *aren't* broken have sticky-notes afixed asking "whut's this four?"
... you trade with neighborhood kids time on your computers in exchange for yard work.
... discussions of "computers" with neighbors bring responses of "Uncle Jed used to be a comp'tor for thu gubmint".
... you usually respond to neighborly discussions of daily life with the reply "what's a tractor?"

(while growing up as a geek kid...)
... your parents are the first ones in the county who's phone bills total more than their car's combined value.
... you have a sibling but you don't know his name.
... your sibling is actually female.
... your peers at school stop picking on you because the last time you hit one of them with school bag you really *did* knock them out.
... your peers read magazines and books with single syllables, you read The Illiad in an evening then go back to recompiling your kernel.
... your peers look oddly when you laugh out loud in class about kernel bugs.
... you were able to hand-build a Linux distro before you ever sat in the front seat of a car.

Rick wrote on 07/05/06 3:09 PM

Welcome (back) to NC, Joe!

Be a rebel, and become a hockey fan. =)

MCG wrote on 02/21/07 7:33 AM

Welcome to NC. If I remember correctly you are in Clayton. There's your first mistake. Not that Garner is any better. We don't need anymore hockey, nascar or basketball freaks. These people need to learn about football.

As far as the rural geek, you know you've come across one when they've gotten all 4000 of their blinking Christmas lights synchronized to the MP3s on their computer. And as the local radio commercial says, dial-up means someone is calling you on their land line and their cable connection refers to the watching the local hog pricing.